one day at a time

A month or so ago I whinged about being depressed. Mostly because I was going through quite a lot of tissues mopping my eyes because I just couldn't stop crying.

That phase has passed. At the moment, I am simply lacking care factor. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I find it difficult to motivate myself to do things I find enjoyable, like knitting, or seeing friends. I find it even more difficult to do things for which I have no enjoyment - meetings, work. I don't like work. I don't want to be here. And I most definitely don't want to be hitting my head against a brick wall trying to solve problems that don't have solutions.

I feel worn out and burnt out. I want nothing more at this point than to be able to take a holiday from my responsibilities - to just have a month where I don't have to worry about money, about work, about anything but recovering my sense of self.

I'm broken and I need fixing, but I don't know how to do that and live the life I do at the same time.